"I love you...be careful"

We said goodbye a month ago today. Feels like it's been forever. 

 

I keep thinking about the last time he hugged me...at the airport after our Alaska trip. He teased me mercilessly about the number of t-shirts I purchased (it was pretty ridiculous...I'm not gonna lie) but after all the teasing he was still the one to make sure everything was arranged so my bags would be under the limit. He hugged me tight and said "Excited to see you for the 4th of July...we'll have fun, we'll sneak a cabin trip in okay?" And as always he then said "I love you...be careful." 

I always thought it was funny that HE of all people was telling ME to be careful. But today as I think about it...his last words to me were pretty important. I do want to be careful...careful to do whatever I need to do so I can be with him again...careful to realize that we never know how much time we have left with those we love...careful to life my life to the fullest and spend my time as he did...loving and serving others and really being engaged in life. Careful to remember to love and take care of my amazing mom, careful to put family first...careful to find and follow my passions and set and accomplish my goals. Careful to remember that he loved me here and continues to love me from where he is now. 

It all feels surreal...there have been moments of feeling lost and completely overwhelmed in the last month...moments where it seems daunting to figure out how to live life without him. But I am grateful for the moments when the clarity returns and I remember that I have a little bit of Carl Blair in me...enough to pull me through...

So...Dad...I love you back...and I will be careful.